Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
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Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
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The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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