I think I am morally bankrupt
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
