How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
