I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
