What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
