i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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