i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
