They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
my sisters under your porch take her home
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
