the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
