The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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