Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
