Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
