I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize