So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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