you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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