I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think