Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize