he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.