super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?