Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
