so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
