The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
