im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
