i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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