**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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