I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
