When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
