honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
