i jhust puked up my retainher.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize