What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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