I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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