Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
