It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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