the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
