you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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