No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.