He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties