Dude i fell asleep inside of her
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.