It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
zippers are such a cool invention
We need to rekindle our bromance
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.