ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.