did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
