hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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