I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
