I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize