He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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