One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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