the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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