my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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