It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize