so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
