Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
