if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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