**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
