...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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