How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i already hear my dad disowning me
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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