So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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