Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
