it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
