ugly people sure do ruin things
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
