I'm jealous of your bromance
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
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She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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