Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
