I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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