We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize