remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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