It's Friday. Sex?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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