I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
